A selfie ( Pronounced: Sell-fee, sometimes spelled selfy) is the art of taking a photo of your self, usually by your self. What started out in the late 90’s when a person would take a picture of their self in front of a webcam evolved rapidly with the invention of camera phones. By the early to mid 2000’s and even now to this day, bathrooms primarily have become home photo labs producing a record numbers of selfies. Since humans are primates we tend to mimic everything everyone else does. So it is doubtful that everyone sits on the toilet thinking “I sure look good today, after I finish I am going to take a picture”. Most likely the phenomenon is caused by collective thinking. Still debatable though. The use of a flash on most cameras probably ruined the selfie for previous generations.

[google align=”random”]Not all selfies are taken in the bathroom. You can take a selfie anywhere and upload it for the world to see in seconds. Going to the bar? Take a selfie! Watching TV? Take a selfie! Some people even take pictures of their self taking a selfie. The posabilities are limitless. There are even mobile apps dedicated to selfies. We all have blemishes, different looks and a variety of other things that make us human. Within seconds those all can be removed if you have the right app. After all, everything on the internet is real.

Types Of Selfies

Not all selfies are created equal. You have to think of your target audience when taking a selfie. If you are doing it for online dating, sending a photo to a loved one or simply trying to get more likes on facebook for an extra dose of self esteem. Only you are the best judge.

Bathroom Sefie

We briefly mentioned this one earlier. As stated, a bathroom selfie is where one decides the same room they take a dump in is perfect for a photo studio. The rules of taking a bathroom selfie are simple. Sit on the toilet for a while and think about how handsome or beautiful you are while you are texting your friends. After you are done, go stand in front of the mirror and take about 100 photos. Once you decide which one looks best, delete the other selfies and upload to your favorite social network or dating site.

If you want to fool people to think you just got out of the shower and not off the toilet, put some water in your hair. ( Not from the toilet ) No really, toilet water is usually contaminated.

Car Selfie

Car selfies have grown in popularity over the last few years. What else do you have better to do in a car then take pictures of yourself? It is not like driving is important or anything. You glance in your rear view mirror and think to yourself “WOW, Who is that!”. We all know what happens after that. Yep, picture time! You scramble for your phone to hurry and get the perfect photo because your physical appearance might change before you get to your destination.

Some people actually take selfies in their car while they are parked. If you have to take a car selfie, please make sure the car is not moving.

The Sleepy Selfie

We all get sleepy, it is a natural part of life. Sometimes just before you go to bed you might think about how wonderful you are. It could be 1am and you have to be up for work in 5 hours. You debate in your mind, sleep or selfies? The debate lasts for about 2 seconds. We all know sleep is not that important when it comes to taking pictures of yourself. It is only rest. Pshhhh. Sleep can wait, selfies can’t. You want everyone to see how you look when you are sleepy so you dig out your favorite device with a camera on it and start your photo shoot.

If you are a risk taker, you can also do the morning sleepy selfie. Or you can do what most people do and try both!

Duck Face Selfie

This trend also started in the early to mid 2000’s. Pucker your face up all weird and distort it to where it resembles a duck. The origin of this selfie style is unknown, but it was one of the most popular selfies in the world. Men and women of all ages began to employ this method while taking cute pictures of their self. While “cute” is all perspective, all that matters is what the photographer thinks right! To this day, the duck face is still a favorite among narcissists. If you can’t beat em, join em. The art of pushing your lips out like a duck can be mastered in about 5 minutes. Just pretend you are about to give the love of your life some sort of strange kiss and that they are not afraid of you making weird faces.

Modern day humans are evolving to shape shifters.

I am not taking a selfie, selfies. The Sneaky Selfie!

Believe it or not, there are some crazy people in this world that think taking selfies is a bit narcissistic or not that cool. These hidden narcissists want you try to trick you in to thinking they are not really taking a selfie. They use different tactics and body parts as well as props to lure you in to deception.

The most common “I am not taking a selfie, selfie” is a trick where the photographer uses they timer and a leg. They are known to set the camera timer for about 10 seconds while they rush to squeeze their phone in between their toes. Extending the leg forward gives the illusion that someone else took the photo. There have been cases where these magicians have actually used a camera with no timer and actually pressed the camera button with their toe.

Using this type of magic can make it appear someone snapped a photo of you sleeping. So if you are really handsome or beautiful while you are asleep and want the world to know, you might have to practice a bit.

Warning: This skill takes months to master. You are going to end up with a lot of pictures of the inside of your calves.

Aristotle once said “For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them.”

It is thought he was speaking about selfies at the time. He obviously was known to take them himself. Even in the late 390’s BC selfies were popular.

In The Mood Selfie, A Romantic Selfie

Humans are animals. Just like all animals we procreate. When a male peacock is looking for a mate it will flash it’s feathers in an attempt to attract a female. He is showing her the goods. Humans are no different, especially when it comes to selfies. They will take pictures of their rear end, chest and abs in most cases. Since human mating season lasts from January to December, there is no shortage of in the mood selfies on the internet. Some people even spice up their in the mood selfie by pouring chocolate all over their self.

Just remember everything on the internet lasts forever.

If you do not want to explain to your family or friends why you have pictures of your back side everywhere. Or the reason why you had chocolate, iced tea, hot sauce or other condiments on your abdominal muscles, you might want to skip the in the mood selfie. Especially if you are looking for a long lasting relationship online.

P.S. The white nylon thing is optional. Safety goggles are good in the event you do not want chocolate getting in your eyes.

Gym Selfie

Gym selfies are taken for many different reasons. Sometimes people want to keep track of their progress and are hoping one day they can look back and have a before and after photo. Other people are simply in love, with their self. Working out has always been popular but in the world of social media and love it has become a trend. Some of your friends might be doing a workout challenge, posting the same photo every day on their social media accounts to impress everyone. Being a primate, you feel like you also need to do this too. So you start every gym session off with a set of selfies. Continuously pushing yourself through that last set of pictures.

Gym selfies can be mixed in with bathroom selfies. A large percent of gym selfies are actually taken in the bathroom. if you are going to take gym selfies in the bathroom there are 2 things to keep in mind.

1. Make sure you are not going to the bathroom.

2. Make sure you wait your turn in front of the mirror. Taking a selfie of you taking a selfie while someone else is taking a selfie of you taking a selfie is rude.

Selfies And Online Dating

When you are taking pictures of yourself for online dating purposes, make sure they show a clear shot of your face. Try not to be repetitive. You can only take so many photos of your face at a certain angle before it starts to look like every other picture. For best results, try to have a mixture of pictures in your dating profile. Do not over selfie.

Most online dating sites you will find the gym selfie, the in the mood selfie and plenty of bathroom selfies. If you are going to post a selfie using the POF app or on Plenty Of Fish you need to remember that no nudity is allowed and no bare torso pictures. This will get your POF account deleted. If you are not really a gym person, do not put misleading photos. If you are looking for a serious relationship or someone with a bit of class, you might want to skip the in the mood selfies.